Sunday 15th July: Neil Ends His Stay in the Black

Six blokes and two blokes-in-training turned up at the Panorama Beer Garden on the roof of the Fukuya department store opposite Hiroshima station. As beer garden parties go this one has to be the mellowest of them all - a sign of our age perhaps. Apart from Tim who drank stolidly at his usual pace throughout, the rest of the senior body was definitely sipping rather than quaffing. Of the three juniors only one was above the legal limit and he showed more enthusiasm than usual for the knappy ale by drinking with the seniors and appeared to suffer for it at the mahjong table later that evening...

As for the food, the consensus was that it would have been worth paying the extra 700yen for the much finer fair offered at Granvia Hotel just over the tracks from Fukuya, even if the space is more constricted and the view not so fine. It must be another sign of age when blokes place more value on the quality of food than on the quantity of beer.

I was unable to join the rest at the mahjong game at Jaime's tonight so I can say little about the session except to note the scores and their consequences:

Neil +81, +9, +13 = +103
Jaime -23, +38, +58 = +73
===
Kenyon -32, +9, -26 = -49
Ray -26, -56, -45 = -127


Neil managed to register his first victory in over two years and returns to the southern shores of Kyuushu with the satisfaction of having ended his brief return to the mahjong tables of Hiroshima on a grand total of +12 after twelve or thirteen hours of play.

It appears that Ray's run of success was almost as transient as the conquests of Trajan, and Kenyon finds himself deposited back upon the bottom of the table while Jaime advances to second place...

David Hurley
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Friday 13th July: Neil Joins the Fray; Sean & Ryan Dip Their Toes In.

A festive spirit prevailed tonight. Neil, one of our former colleagues in the days when we were all "dokushin kizoku" (batchelor aristocrats) at a certain English language school of ill repute, was back in town for the holiday weekend, blown in from Kyuushu by the typhoon.

We had agreed to meet at Koyo (a.k.a. Jantopia) jansou, to enjoy its friendly atmosphere. The move was proposed by Jaime. It was a cunning ploy on his part to turn around his recent fortunes. Pleasant as the parlour may be, the tables at Koyo have always played in favour of Jaime; they have never furthered the progress of David; indeed, pleasant pastures often prove painful to the progress of the pilgrim, as did By-Path Meadow to Christian and Hopeful, or the well watered plain of Jordan to Lot.

It will be remembered that the David's recent good form at the tables of both the four-player and the three-player games resembled in magnitude, if not in glory, the double success the emperor Trajan had enjoyed over the pagans of Dacia and the star-gazers of the East. David's successes had even continued across the dreaded change of quarter as June gave way to July and the previous night he had enjoyed victory in the four-player game at The Good Doc's.

A victory by the PLC in tonight's 3-player game would have completely routed the "4-player/3-player" rule in which victory at one table is said to presage defeat at the other. However, change is not conducive to the maintenance of empire and David's conquests proved to be no less "transient... rapid and specious" than Trajan's asiatic successes.

It will also be remembered that Trajan's successor to the imperial purple was none other than that great and energetic defensive strategist, Publius Aelius Traianus Hadrianus, a.k.a. Hadrian, of wall-building fame.

"The resignation of all the eastern conquests of Trajan was the first measure of his reign. He restored to the Parthians the election of an independent sovereign, withdrew the Roman garrisons from the provinces of Armenia, Mesopotamia, and Assyria, and, in compliance with the precept of Augustus, once more established the Euphrates as the frontier of the empire." (Gibbon, D&FRE, Vol. I cap. I.)

Tonight's was a ten-hour mahjong session in which numerous games were played and numerous beers quaffed and many pleasant distractions served to amuse the varied company.

Kenyon and David were the first arrivals. Then Jaime, Ray, Tim and Noda arrived as a party accompanying Neil straight from four swift "Happy Hour" beers at Kembys.

This was the part of the evening in which the laurels of victory were handed out with considerable liberality to the regular players of the drunken party so that at the end of the first game the results were:

Drunken Regular Players
Jaime - Victory
Noda - Victory
Ray - Victory

Drunken Occasional Player
Neil - Defeat

Other Regular Players (Sober or Not Yet Inebriated)
David - Defeat
Kenyon - Defeat

Non-Participating Drunkards Also Worthy of Mention
Tim

Noda, Ray, and Kenyon occupied one table, David, Jaime, and Neil the other. Five tiles into the first hand of the first game Jaime completed the first of many swift hands. Four tiles into the next, and the next hand a similar process occurred and we were half way through the game before you could say "Bob's your uncle" and there were still two Yakitori tesserae on the table. Then Jaime racked up a few 100-Tenbou until Neil eventually completed a hand. Another swift victory brought us to last Oya and whoever it was did not last long at that post, so victory went to Jaime, with Neil suffering a modest loss and David commencing his "retreat from the Orient" with his Yakitori tesserae still on the table.

Over on the other table Kenyon suffered at the hands of the drunken regular players but avoided the ignominy of getting skewered. However, the sober player proved the least continent as the negative results accumulated to the prejudice an already tenuous mastery of the passions. I think it was Noda's two-in-a-row completion of Kokushimusou as Oya that was the last straw for Kenyon. Or was it that time, familiar to us all, when Kenyon was Tempai on Kokushimusou himself, only to see Ray go out? Anyway, he jumped off his chair and paced up and down in a Choleric frenzy that I had not thought a herbivore capable of - choler being the humour natural to one who surfeits on summer mutton.

Ray inherited a number of 100-tenbou although as starting Oya and already on the South round he had yet to complete a hand. His corner of the table was looking rather crowded, as the photo shows!

Whereas play had started swiftly on Jaime's table, it shortly slowed down apace as two new guests, Sean and Ryan, joined us to observe the game for the first time. By now David was entering into his cups and liberally abusing Neil for robbing him of the tiles he needed from the wall by his slow but all too frequent, and vain, declarations of "Pon". (After all, what else does he return to Hiroshima for if not for the abuse he receives at our hands when he gets here?)

Kenyon's calls for a change of table seating arrangements went unheeded (despite their impact upon the eardrums - loud noises often serve to deafen the hearers - ) as our games never quite seemed to come to a simultaneous end and none of the other players on either table found himself inclined to wait upon the sober player's pleasure. Ray, their table leader, was quite happy with the way things were. Their table was now playing at a faster rate than ours and finishing ahead of us, Noda declared for a final game with seating arrangement as it was, so Kenyon rejoined the table and promptly turned in the best single result of the evening, reclaiming all the ground he had lost and finishing in the black on +2.

The effect of that turnaround had been to push Noda back into the red, which proved useful to David at the end of the evening as it contributed to preserving his position at the top of the Grand Accumulated Results Table in spite of his racking up the biggest defeat of any player in one session so far this year!

Noda and Ray departed the scene (in fact, Noda nearly flew from it by missing his footing at the top of the stairs) and so an opportunity arose for us to host a training session on one table and a regular game on the other.

Jaime hosted the first half of the training session and Neil second.

Kenyon joined David and Neil's table, where his precipitous swing from the extremity of unmitigated disaster to that of outrageous victory continued through three more games, and did not begin to abate until a Chombo in the 8th was followed by another in the 9th game where he finally gave 39 points back to the market for Jaime to scoop up. Indeed, Kenyon's late night advance did not prevent Jaime from continuing to make progress as well. Nor did it prevent the Poor Little Cypriot from ordering and polishing off his 11th beer for the evening and registering a loss throughout of approximately 20 points per beer! Perhaps it was that 11th beer that caused him to commit the most absurd of Chombo breaches - a breach in the wall which, when all the tiles had been replaced, left him with just ten tiles in hand!

I should say Kenyon's evening accurately traced the fortunes of Sobriety when confronted by Inebriation; in the early stages your sober fellow can do nothing against the exuberant inspiration of the freshly intoxicated, but as the evening wears on he gains the advantage of a clear head over a befuddled noddle.

Jaime took the middle course and retired from his cups at a prudent moment and steered himself home.

David, however, who was late out of the traps, pressed on regardless, drinking with neither exuberance nor incontinence, but sinking, ever sinking, at the moderate rate of one beer every fifty minutes. Ah, how many wretches has a policy of "moderation" sent to Hell in a handcart?

In the penultimate game, David, by now sinking beneath the twin impresses of time and his tipple, tossed out a Red Dragon only for Kenyon to pounce and reveal a completed Kokushimusou! Jaime had seen the danger and held onto one of the other Red Dragons. David had only got so far as noticing that a couple of end tiles were cunningly placed among Kenyon's discard pile and thought no more of it!

That was the fourth Kokushimusou of an eventful evening - Jaime had completed the third sometime earlier; but, to reiterate, the most amazing eventuality was Noda's going out on Kokushimusou twice running.

Somewhere in the mist - er, I meant to type "the midst" but I find "the mist" somehow more apposite and pertinent - of these events Tim (who had, by the way, quit our company long ago for the pleasures of Sin in the Tents of Wickedness) returned with Alex, the renowned bartender of Kulcha. Our amiable Mama-san was once more aroused from her slumbers before the television and cheerfully set about pouring Tim his umpteenth beer of the night and then with equal equanimity received instructions from Alex about how to mix up his own choice of brew. There then ensued a conversation about Tim, a young lady, and Neil, and the carte blanche the first of the three was offering the third to do him the courtesy of showing her his favour...

A sense of modesty and propreity causes me to pause and spare the details of the denouement of that particular conversation, but I trust the varied scenes that presented themselves to our two observers, Sean and Ryan, will have beguiled them into joining us on a regular basis!

The results:

Kenyon -42, +11, -12, -91, +132, || +52, +89, +52,** -39,** = +154
Jaime +57, +21, +71, -30, (--), || --, -13, -17, +50 = +139
Ray +10, +31, +40, +14, -66, || --, --, --, -- = +29
===
Noda +32, -42, -28, +77, -66, || --, --, --, -- = -27
Neil -13, -25, -36, +23, (--), || +3, -43, --, --, = -91
David -44,* +4, -35, +7, (--), || -55, -33, -35, -11,* = -202

* Yakitori
** Chombo

The jaws of the Grand Accumulated Points Table are closing! The current top player performed the worst, the current bottom player performed the best tonight. Kenyon's recovery puts him on the same number of points as Hide, but as Kenyon as played more games his batting average is not so bad so he moves off the bottom. David sets a new "worst result" record but manages to stay top; Noda drops back to 3rd place; Jaime gets back in the black; Neil enters the fray in 8th place and Ray improves his situation in fourth.

David Hurley
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Thursday 12th July: The Conquests of Trajan and his Column.

Having recently expanded the realms of his empire by ravaging the regions of Dacia well beyond the limits set by his previous advance up the Grand Accumulated 3-Player Mahjong Results Table early in the spring, Emperor Traianus Davidus set out in the footsteps of the ancient poet, Bassho, on a second exhibition against one of the tribes of the east which shelter behind the broad islands over against southernmost tributary of the Great River Mogamus. That river is noted for the speed of its current and the people who dwell thereabouts for their skill in medicine. Indeed, such is the fame of their medicine that the chief men of the tribe were preoccuppied with dishing out powders and potions and were still in their witchdoctors' gear when they were taken by surprise as Traianus Davidus marched into their encampment a full 15 minutes earlier than expected. They were alerted to the danger when the tribal totem, a little fluffy dog sporting a pink bib, began to yap excitedly and run to and fro in the entrance way to the encampment.

While the elders and chief men of the tribe girded up their loins, Trianus Davidus attacked the baggage wagons and made off with sandwiches and beer.

Now the people of the East are players of classical Japanese four-player mahjong whereas the heretical Dacian schismatics proclaim the merits of the three-player variation.

It is an ancient tradition that the general who takes to the field against the peoples of the east and overmasters them by martial prowess often comes a cropper when he turns his face and his forces against the Dacians. Likewise has it been remarked that a general who masters the field in Dacia seldom manages to march his eagles to victory in the east.

Battle was joined and ranged over three encounters. In the first, Traianus Davidus won the early skirmishes with a nice Haneman hand (courtesy of three Dora tiles) as Oya, but his forces were halted for the rest of that skirmish although they did not give up much ground, and Traianus Davidus was able to wrest the initiative back towards the end of the game. He did this by adopting the tactics of the German tribesmen, stripping off his armour and going biserker. Mrs M had declared Riichi and so Trianus Davidus promptly did the same and flung himself amongst the enemy brandishing his Issen Tenbou and closing upon them with a cry of "Okake Riichi" - which promptly turned into "Ippatsu, Tsumo..." and I forget what else to discomfit them and cause them to flee from the field.

Dr M jr had suffered most in the first encounter, and suffered almost as much in the second. Play flowed as swiftly as the eponymous river that Bassho described in one of his haiku. There were several comic moments, as for example when Mrs M retracted a "Pon" declaration a couple of times, giving away the fact that she was waiting for something, but not the Wind or Dragon that had just been discarded. The first time it happened Trianus Davidus gave away the required Wind, but I don't think Mrs M was able to complete her hand. However, on the second occasion Trianus Davidus kept close to hand the Red Dragon that he suspected she needed, but Mrs M completed her hand anyway by other means; a generous donation by Dr M jr, if I remember rightly.

Dr M jr claimed the North Wind by a declaration of "Pon" when his seat was no longer in the North. He made a good show of having bungled, but whether that was the case or whether it was an example of the crafty cunning that is as natural to the people of the East, I dare not say.

Dr M jr, the tribal elder, prevailed in this encounter, but the losses accruing to Traianus Davidus were not fatal to his ambitions and a severe blow had been administered to the forces of Dr M jr who had threatened his left flank with a triple attack taking advantage of the South Wind. Unfortunately for him his attack was scuppered by the tribal elder took him down and touched him for a token amount of booty.

There was a general reorganization of troops for the third and decisive encounter, with Dr M sr now ranging at large on Traianus Davidus's left flank, Dr M jr occupying a more defensive location on his right and Mrs M in the centre.

Half way through the game Traianus Davidicus had retreated somewhat but was still hopeful of victory when he, as Oya, put together a hand consisting of the old 7-Pairs (Chitoi), with the missing tile being none other than the South Wind, the Dora for that game, and with none yet showing on the table. He thought better of declaring Riichi and sat back and waited for the trap to be sprung. Sure enough, the tribal elder, Dr M sr, thinking the coast was clear to pop out the South, did so and suffered when the hidden Dora indicator pointed to a couple of tiles in Traianus Davidus his hand.

The South Wind was active again in a later hand when Dr. M sr declared Riichi, then Traianus Davidicus, seeing he was still Oya declared as well with a South/7-Coins wait. No sooner had he done that than Dr M jr also declared Riichi and began to pray earnestly to the pagan deities. If his orisons were accepted the requests they contained were not. Mrs M now contemplated throwing herself into the fray with a fourth Riichi but declined to do so and played safe. Dr M sr discarded without event and Traianus Davidus then drew the South Wind to complete his hand with Riichi, Tsumo, Table Wind, and three Dora bonuses. It was that hand that won him the game, but actually, Dr M sr pointed out, had Mrs M declared Riichi the hand would have been abandoned. In the four player game (as played here) a fourth Riichi automatically terminates play.

Perhaps the deities had opened half an ear to Dr M jr's prayers for he was able to declare Riichi and to complete the final hand of the evening to get himself to the dizzy heights - er I should rather say "the not so low depths" - of minus two. He still finished as the evening's bottom player. Mrs M was third. Dr M sr came in just above the bar, not on the main points but on the strength of a Maru (O) bonus, while Traianus Davidus marched off with the spoils of victory to set up what is known in the English speaking world as Trajan's Column, an edifice of words made up chiefly of balderdash which you have just been perusing at your leisure.

===
Trajan (53-117AD)
Conquerer of Dacia, and the East, a virtuous pagan resurrected by Pope Gregory I and baptized into glory by the same.

Famous also for the size of his Roman column.

Of Traianus, or Trajan as he is rendered in English, Gibbon has this to say:

Trajan was ambitious of fame; and as long as mankind shall continue to bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors, the thirst of martial glory will ever be the vice of the most exalted characters. The praises of Alexander, transmitted by a succession of poets and historians, had kindled a dangerous emulation in the mind of Trajan. Like him the Roman emperor undertook an expedition against the nations of the east, but he lamented with a sigh, that his advanced age scarcely left him any hopes of equalling the renown of the son of Philip.

And of his conquests he writes:

Yet the success of Trajan, however transient, was rapid and specious. The degenerate Parthians, broken by intestine discord, fled before his arms. He descended the river Tigris in triumph, from the mountains of Armenia to the Persian gulf. He enjoyed the honour of being the first, as he was the last, of the Roman generals, who ever navigated that remote sea. His fleets ravaged the coasts of Arabia; and Trajan vainly flattered himself that he was approaching towards the confines of India. (20) Every day the astonished senate received the intelligence of new names and new nations, that acknowledged his sway. They were informed that the kings of Bosphorus, Colchos, Iberia, Albania, Osrhoene, and even the Parthian monarch himself, had accepted their diadems from the hands of the emperor; that the independent tribes of the Median and Carduchian hills had implored his protection; and that the rich countries of Armenia, Mesopotamia, and Assyria, were reduced into the state of provinces.

On the death of Trajan and his legacy:

But the death of Trajan soon clouded the splendid prospect; and it was justly to be dreaded that so many distant nations would throw off the unaccustomed yoke, when they were no longer restrained by the powerful hand which had imposed it.

David Hurley
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